


The Snow Globes

by hallwayperson



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Ghouli, The X-Files Ghouli
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 19:16:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13553844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hallwayperson/pseuds/hallwayperson
Summary: The story about the snow globes. Inspired by Ghouli but not necessarily set around that time.





	The Snow Globes

**Author's Note:**

> The story about the snow globes. Inspired by Ghouli but not necessarily set around that time.

I’ve always known. As far back as I can remember, I’ve known. **  
**

I remember a day in second grade where Ben and his friends had cornered me. I was scared, didn’t know where to run to, so I just gave up. What was I supposed to do? They were four and I was just me. My heart was beating fast in my chest, it felt like it was going to jump out of my chest, my palms were sweaty, and I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t see anything. Then I heard all of the boys screaming as a sharp pain went through my head. When I opened my eyes again, I barely caught the back of them running away. I didn’t know what caused them to run away in fear like that but it didn’t matter because I was safe.

When it happened again in third grade, I kept my eyes open, and watched in terror what made them run. My own reflection in the windows, but it wasn’t me at all. I wasn’t me. The thing staring back at me was horrifying but it was all over as quickly as it had happened. With a blink of my eyes, the bullies had fled; the monster in the windows too.

I’ve always known I’m not like other people. Not in the same way as when your mom tenderly caresses your head and says “you’re special.” Or when your dad catches you reading late on a school night and with a big proud smile on his face says “Jackson, you’re such a special boy.”

If only it had been like that.

I didn’t understand any of it as a kid. It just used to leave me paralyzed in fear. It scared my parents too - especially when I’d wake up screaming at night talking about aliens and a virus killing everyone on earth. Eventually they made me see a doctor and she wasn’t as scared as mom and dad. She prescribed me pills too that were supposed to quieten the bad dreams, but they never did. Instead I kept quiet about the dreams that followed me around as I got older, getting more and more vivid day by day.

Some times, in my dreams, I see red hair. It’s the same person every time. She has bright blue eyes too. Sad blue eyes. She’s singing a song but I can only make out a few of the words. Something about a bullfrog. I know her.

It’s in my dreams I’m awake, like I have a second life there with real feelings, everything as tangible as the snow globe resting in my hand. I go by William, not Jackson, and mom and dad are gone, but I’m not sad. Not because I don’t miss them, but in my dreams, they’ve never been there. It’s like they never existed - at least not to me. But I have parents. My mom is named Dana, I know that, but a man calls her “Scully.” She calls him “Mulder.” He’s my dad. Sometimes, we build rockets together, much like the one I have in my room, and he tells me stories of space and of the many discoveries before me and him.

It all feels so real.

Then I wake up and I go downstairs. I see mom in the kitchen, smiling at me, and I go kiss her hello. I grab an apple and head outside. Dad is already waiting in the car, ready to drive me to school. He teaches there so he takes me to school every day. I love them, but I love  _them_ too. I can feel it. I want to apologize to mom and dad but they’d never understand. So I give my dad a hug when we get to school, I can do that, and I want to do that. And then we part ways as usual.

Every year, a few times actually, mom and dad ask me where I want to go on holidays. When I was younger, I’d always say Oregon. It was one of the only states I knew for reasons I don’t know. When I got older, I learned of other states and we’d drive all over the place. We always travel by car so we stay at motels. The motels that have a gift shop are the best ones  because they usually have snow globes. I have one for all of the states we’ve visited so far and my favorite one is from Blue Ridge, Georgia. There is a sea creature inside of it called Big Blue. The guy at the gift shop told me I was the first one to buy a Big Blue snow globe in years. Apparently, the last one had been a FBI agent summoned there to investigate mystical disappearances. Everyone said Big Blue was to blame for the disappearances but turns out it was just a big alligator - much to the disappointment of the FBI agent.

Mom and dad don’t know why we go to these places. I can’t give them a proper answer as I’m not sure either but I feel connected to the different places for reasons I can’t explain. And I collect snow globes because they are tangible, because the weight in my hand is a subtle reminder about these motel holidays making me feel closer to something I can’t quite grasp.


End file.
